A tongue-in cheek obituary for Writing Exercise 1:
I’ve never met Stephan, but I’ve been following him on Twitter for some time now. I don’t just read his public updates, but also the things he tweets to other people, so I think I can say I know him quite well.
Stephan was not a good person; not once did he tweet pictures of cute animals, retweet a show of support for a cancer charity or favourite my subtweets. While this may seem circumstantial for such a statement, I think the evidence stands for itself. Perhaps his character was an expression of his low self-esteem; after all he very rarely posted selfies, not even when drunk.
And boy did he drink. Update after update related to alcohol, whether whiskey (which he always insisted on spelling whisky) or beer or wine… It was almost a relief to see him tweet about coffee instead, though I do have a lingering suspicion those coffees may have been ‘Irish’. I hope Stephan was getting some help for his alcoholism.
Stephan did talk about films and books and writing a lot; all solitary activities, further sign of his clearly low self-esteem. He tried to cover up his fragile ego with jokes that tended to swing between the baroque and the incomprehensible. Rarely was anyone amused by these ‘jokes’ except Stephan himself, but it kept him happy and perhaps kept him from any more self-damaging behaviour.
Stephan could be irascible, dry and terse, as if he was trying to keep me and the rest of the world at arm’s length. It’s a shame Stephan is dead; now he’ll never follow me back.